The Perfect Combination of "What-Ifs"

Imagine you are in your vehicle, sitting at a stoplight. Yours is the first in line. A stream of vehicles starts going by after their light turns green. One by one you watch as they pass in front of you. 

As each one goes by you notice the driver for a brief few seconds. A man wearing a green sweater. A woman with long black hair and glasses. An old, gray-haired man with a dirty ballcap in a rusty truck. A group of teenagers, with a driver that has had her license for less time than you’ve owned your newest pair of shoes. 

Each of them is different, unique in a nearly infinite number of ways. Each carries thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands of memories floating in their mind. Each life is completely separated. Or was, until minutes ago when they all came together at the same intersection you currently sit at.

For a minute all were gathered by chance. Each person briefly connected without knowing each other. Any number of decisions made differently by each driver could have changed their order. Sleeping through an alarm. Taking the scenic route. Waiting for a friend. Any change by any of the drivers would have led to a different group.

How many times do we find ourselves in similar situations? The line at a coffee shop. The waiting room at the doctor. Anywhere we come in contact with other people we are temporarily gathered in a group, assembled by pure randomness. A different decision by any person could have changed the makeup of the moment.

How many decisions, if made differently, would change who you now call cousin? Aunt? Mom? Grandpa? Would you even exist if some little decisions were made differently by any of these people? Maybe yes, maybe no. Whether it’s fate or coincidence, we find our way into different family and friend groups seemingly by accident.

How many times could you have made a different decision and not met your spouse? How lucky are you that your grandfather chased down your grandmother in the dance hall parking lot to ask her for a date? We exist the way we do because of the perfect combination of “what ifs”.

Every decision we make leads us down a path uniquely our own. A path that could, at any time, cross with a casual stranger that turns into a lifelong friend.

Think about how things in the future may be different because of some little decision we make today. Whether to leave the house at 6:13 or 6:15. Whether to try that free pass at the gym. Whether to talk to that stranger next to us in line or not. Any of these decisions, small or big, easy or difficult, could change who your great grandchildren call cousin, aunt, brother. 

Remember that next time you feel drawn to say good morning to the new guy at the office. Or to compliment the waitress as she brings your food. Most of these interactions last only seconds, but occasionally those seconds lead to days, weeks, months, lifetimes. 

Given how powerful great relationships are, isn’t it worth creating as many opportunities for them as possible?